Isolation

I have been asked what I have found the most challenging about my experience here in Malawi. The thing that I have found the hardest is feeling isolated. This isolation is due to not only being disconnected to the world outside of Bwanje, but also being culturally isolated from people with Bwanje. For the first time in my life I am visible and cultural minority. I cannot just blend into a crowd and be treated the same as everyone else. It often feels like I am wearing character custom everywhere I go. Most people find me amusing, some small children are terrified, and I am expected to smile and wave at everyone. But you can never take the custom off and just be like everyone else. Though, this has gotten better since I have gotten to know people in the community. At least most people call out “Hey Kyla”, instead of “Hey white person” now.
This experience has helped me become aware of just how important culture is. It is isolating and frustrating sometimes to not have anyone around who shares your culture. No one that communicates the way you do, that understands the cultural references you make, or shares similar cultural values. Because I am the minority, I am the one is doing things oddly, if not completely wrong. I feel like I always have to defend my ideas and values. It’s communication that is the hardest. I have to speak slow simple English to get my point across, and sometimes feel like it is difficult to develop deep relationships based on that. Even if the actual words are understood, they may still have a different meaning for each person.
Over all people share more similarities than differences and there is always common ground that can be found, but all the same you are always aware that you are different and you are an outsider. This has given me a greater appreciation for what people immigrating to a new country must go through. How worse it must be to also not feel welcomed.